Fear

So..here I am. After over half a year, I've decided to sit down at my kitchen table (in a new house, might I add), with a piping hot cup of coffee by my side -- that has since gone ice cold, since I've sat and stared at this blank white screen for a couple hours now -- and write. 

My fear has been crippling me for 7 months. I'm so afraid of what others will think about my writing style, the words I use, the way I get my point across. I'm fearful of what others will say when they catch a glimpse inside my not-so-perfect life, marriage, and thoughts. But after 7 months of writer's block, fear of what others will think and say, and pushing my computer, journals, pens and loose-leaf papers away, here I am.

Has fear crippled you? Lately? Ever? It's so aggravating when fear grows the size of a Goliath. It can look different for all of us. There it is: standing in front of us, playing the game of Chicken with us, moving to the right when we bolt to the right, darting to the left when we try to creep by on the left. It consumes the way we live, think, act, and everything in between. MY problem is that I let it win...pretty much every time. 

Last Sunday, my father in law preached on Re-Firing; being the first to put your feet in the river & trust the presence of God when pursuing your dreams. Like the Israelites carrying the Ark of the Covenant across the Jordan River, we must TRUST that the Lord is going to part the waters & carry us through. And then yesterday we had a guest speaker. I was so tempted to stay at home from church...it is my three day weekend, after all. And I have so much house work to do...but Jonathan, in a very fatherly tone, told me he expected see me in the pews. I responded, "...okay, Dad. See you there." (He has to get there earlier than I do for sound check, so we drive separate every week). 

The guest speaker spoke on pursuing your dreams. Being an "all-in" type person. Trusting that the Lord will part the waters while you're staying faithful. Pushing your fears aside, because the timing will never be perfect. Being creative, and acting on it. 

Two weeks in a row. TWO WEEKS IN A ROW! the pastors spoke on pursuing your dreams, pushing your fears aside & trusting in the Lord. My father in law & the guest speaker hadn't planned this. This was the Holy Spirit moving in their hearts, them obeying the Word, and in turn, their words impacting a congregation. I was floored. How in the world could I have stayed home to CLEAN HOUSE and miss this?! 

We haven't been given a spirit of fear, you guys. That isn't from the Lord. We've been given a spirit of power, love, and of a sound mind. {2 Timothy 1:7} 

Pursue your dreams. Get out there and do something big. Life's too short to sit back and dwell on the what-ifs. If you love it, do it. It's time to start living the life God intended for you.

It's good to be back.